Browse Month: July 2017

Portrait of the Artist

Finished this Tuesday and it’s already gotten more than 4000 likes, a dozen good offers, and an offer to hang it at a gallery in Corrales.

Gouache and acrylic glaze on canvas; 36×54

I am stunned by the depth of colors and the freedom it ultimately revealed.

I don’t want to sell it but I do need the money. Need to pay a debt to someone in Taos County, get that off my back. Thinking about it.

I’m 100-days sober and free from the burdens of dope and nicotine. I’ve not been this long without nicotine since I was 14-yrs old.

We’re trying a brand new beta blocker for my heart but it’s making me pretty sick. It’s just taking my blood pressure down wayy too low – so I’m always dizzy, shaky, and too fatigued. My new Cardiology team at Presbyterian is excellent but we’re going to have to go all the way back through testing/experimenting with different meds. Every cardiologist has a slightly different protocol/opinion. The lead, though, is a great guy.

Heading back North next week and I can hardly wait! We have a good little crew going this time. My friend Desiree claims to be hell on trout with a flyrod, so we shall see. D and I like handline fishing.

Northbound Soon!

Thank God!  Debi and Diana going along and hopefully my friend Sean. We fit four in the tent last time (lots of nekkid peeps but no hookups). It’s nice to have that little bit of extra room in the tent but, think about it; you’re there to sleep and hangout a very short time. 

Much better to go lie on the river bank and watch the baby trouts!!!!

97 days today (131 nicotine). 

Love All Y’alI.  I am deeply in debt for the help and generosity you have all brought to my life.  Thank you. 

What do the Russians think??

In the midst of all this mayhem over the Trump organization and their ties to the Russian government, it would be very beneficial for someone to make frank documentary about mainstream Russian life and what the average Russian citizen thinks of this whole ordeal. 


We did an echocardiogram and, immediately, my cardiologists ordered me back for a nuclear medicine stress test early tomorrow morning. Great way to celebrate 90 days, no?
Actually the echo was our first set of imagery since I stopped the smokin’ and drinkin’, so I’m not surprised they’ve spotted a problem or a trend. I was well past my shelf-life when I started drinking – and I drank a helluva lot. It’s a miracle I’m still breathing and able to run around in the hills.
I owe my friend Amelia a huge debt of gratitude as it was obvious I was going to drink myself to death when we lived together and she took action, albeit the beginning of so much sadness in my life; I’m pretty sure I would already be toast. I wanted so badly to see her in Taos last week but I know it would have been extremely stressful for her so I didn’t even try.
I understand clearly that I am now living on borrowed time, that prayer and meditation are my most indispensible activities of the day, and that SOMETHING has my doctors concerned enough to order a very expensive and dangerous test. Short of getting catheters into my heart to measure internal pressures, this is the most accurate test we can do. Last time we did it they accidently triggered a failure event and rushed me back to CICU; but I agree that we need to get good metrics as we proceed with my sober life.
Since all the smoking and drinking is behind me, I’ve been working again on diet. My ldl cholesterol has increased a few points but I’m allergic to statin drugs, so diet is my only option. It’s been a good/effective option for me in the past, but I’ve gotta really be mindful when I cook/eat.
Deb’s been helping me clean out the fridge, freezer and pantry (thank God); and she’s helping me move toward a real vegan diet.
Don’t like it. Not at all.
As long as I can help my sponsees, paint and play piano, I’m a grateful and active participant in this life God has willed. Losing a lot of stamina, though, and still very haunted by thoughts of my time with Mia.

Yeeha Rain!

Had plenty of rain on the trip North, but manageable. As long as the sun comes out in the mornings, it doesn’t take long to dry out any wet sleeping bags or blankets. I got a great 3″ latex mattress that fits the tent perfectly and gives everyone a nice cushie place to sleep. It’s a space-hog in the Buick, but well worth it.

Love my girl Lysa. She’s a great traveller and partner for car camping!

Don’t smoke or drink, don’t eat animals, pray.

We are definitely moving into a monsoon rain pattern, with storms forming over all the mountain ranges. The ones firing off the San Mateo and Jemez bring us wonderful lightning – and occasional rain.

Sober 90 days tomorrow, and my friend Debi is throwing a little party. Beautiful girl with an indelible New York accent.

It’s kinda neato that girls with years and years of sober time want to spend time with me! At least they see/understand/feel the realities of alcoholism. Liars, cheats and thieves we are. Unlike the “normal people” out there, though, we don’t deny our scoundrel ways!

I’d post a photo of Debi dancing naked with sparklers up at Costilla, but she’d shoot me! So I’ll post her picture from before she took off all her clothes!

When the Rain Comes

We rejoice over the smallest bit of rain!  There was a small, but quickly doused, wildfire this morning in the Sandia.  Thank God for our firefighters.

Mister Dog is having terrible troubles with his meds (pain and muscle relaxant) so we’ve stopped all the pills to see if he will regain his appetite.  I hate to see him feeling so bad!!

I will go to Taos and Costilla in the next few days.  Go figger…